Skinny-Sized Teacher

A blog about life before and after gastric bypass

The Last Supper

on January 10, 2012

Trying desperately to keep my mind off of eating… For dinner, I had a protein shake with chicken broth with some carrots and celery. The chicken broth was disgusting plain all by itself, so I added a ramen soup noodle seasoning packet to it. Gonna pick up some chicken bouillon cubes, onion powder, and Goya Sazon tomorrow to add to make “soup.”It was nice to eat a hot meal, even though I don’t mind the Atkins shakes.  I did “cheat” a little today, and had a bagel thin with weight watcher cream cheese. My surgeon recommended a 7-10 day preop diet and I’m 10 days before surgery. I’m hoping that I’ve given myself enough cushion.

Definitely feeling spacey as my body detoxes off the food. Today on my way into my therapist’s office, I got out of the car, locked the door, and then shut the door on my thumb. The door wouldn’t open and I screamed my head off until someone came over, got my keys out of my pocket, and unlocked the door. It’s pretty bruised, but luckily not broken. I’m blaming it on the sugar withdrawals. I’m also pretty tired. Grades are due for work, and I didn’t do anything tonight besides work on a project for grad school. Going to make sure I have some coffee tomorrow to help compensate.

On Saturday, I went out and had my “Last Supper.” Though doctors advise that you shouldn’t do that, I know it’ll be quite some time before I can eat the foods I enjoyed (in smaller quantities of course) and drink.  I’m not an alcoholic, but I love a few glasses of wine occasionally. The night happened to coincide with my friend Trina’s birthday and so she and I got dolled up to go out. Of course, after several years of being plus size, I just found a site that sells youthful plus size dresses. I bought the Tiffany dress, on sale for $30, and I got a lot of compliments in it. The dress is a bit tight, so I’m hoping to get a few post-op nights out in it before it gets to be too big. I have to admit, I’m looking forward into fitting in my old clothes and new ones before summer. After the BreakUp with C, I gained about 30 pounds. My clothes, including work clothes, are super tight, if they fit at all, and I’ve been postponing buying new ones. I did breakdown and buy a pair of OldNavy jeans (size 20, ugh) to wear to work, since my AmericanEagle ones are a bit too tight and low slung to wear to work.  I only have to make it through another week before surgery, and if I need to pick up a few pairs of pants in recovery, I will.

My ex, Chase, also came out with us on Saturday…this was not the most recent ex, but the one before, and we’ve had discussions about unresolved feelings between the two of us. However, for many reasons, now is not the time for either of us to explore those feelings, so we’ve been working on building a friendship. It was reassuring to have him there. He is one of the few people that won’t blow sunshine up my ass, and I enjoyed talking to him. Chase has his own brand of charm, and can come across as arrogant. Strangely, he was a perfect gentleman that night, including helping me in and out of my jacket, which he didn’t even do when we dated. He also rescued me from a guy who sent me a drink at one of the bars we went to, and then expected much more than a thank you. Luckily, Chase, former Marine that he is, dealt  with that by pushing me up against the wall and kissing me. Problem solved, but it left a burning butterflies in my stomach. On second thought, hanging with Chase is probably not a good idea when neither of us is ready for it. Hmm….

Anyway, we went to Via in Worcester, MA, which is my favorite restaurant. I enjoyed freshly baked bread, salad, butternut squash risotto, and eggplant Parmesan with a few glasses of wine before we went to a few other bars on the same street. It was funny, though, with the surgery about two weeks away, I think I’m subconsciously preparing for it, because I didn’t eat as much as I know I’m capable of. I ate enough to be satisfied, and stopped. I also haven’t felt 100% since getting the stomach flu over New Year’s. The celebration continued until about 4 am.

My official last preop meal was slices of cheese pizza on Sunday night at my cousin’s birthday party. Again, I didn’t eat as much as I thought I would. I was exhausted from the night before, and wasn’t very hungry. I did, however,dream about a ham sandwich (?) and woke up wanting one this morning. Go figure.

On a side note, I want to take my body measurements before getting too far into the preop diet to see if I’m going to lose anything. Definitely going to pick up a tape measure tomorrow after work.


One response to “The Last Supper

  1. Deana says:

    You will definitely lose doing the liquids. I lost 5 lbs on one day doing the bowel prep.

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